A blonde woman is speeding down the highway and goes under a bridge when all of a sudden, she see's red and blue lights in her rear view mirror. She pulls over and shortly after, an officer comes up to her window and takes the womans license and insurance info. while looking over the documents, he asked her where she was heading and if she knew why she was being pulled over. The blonde replies that she is on her way to work and she was pulled over for speeding. The officer asked her what she does for a living and she replies, "I am a rectum stretcher!". "A what?!?!?" the officer exclaims. She replies, I am a rectum stretcher.
He then asked what was a rectum stretcher. The blonde replies, "well, first i start with inserting my pinky into an asshole, and working it until I can fit my wrist in there. I keep working the asshole loose until I can fit my elbow in, and so on, until I have made a 6 foot asshole." The officer was stunned and then asked," What in the hell would you do with a 6 foot asshole?"
The blonde flips him off and says, "give him a radar gun and hide him behind a *** bridge!"