FISHINMA (US)

 The perfect Christmas fruitcake recipe:

Ingredients:
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
nuts
1 bottle of brandy
2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the brandy to check quality.

Take a large bowl, check the brandy again.
To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar.
Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the brandy is shtill ok

Try another cup...just in case
Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit off the floor.

Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with drewscriver.

Sample the brandy to check for ton sisticicity.

Next, sift two cups of salt. or something. WHo giveshz a shish

Check the brandy.

Now shift the lemon juice and str ain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.

Place the smixture into a cake tin--thats like a bizcit tin without the lids--turn the cake tin 350 degrees and try n ot to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Throw the bowl through the window,

Finish the brandy and kick the cat.

Go to bed. Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway? CHERRY MISTMAS MA