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Greggofish (US)

I fish....alot

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Greggofish (US)'s Profile > Stories > A bass, the law and near divorce.

A bass, the law and near divorce.

Posted Sep 22, 2007 by Greggofish (US)
Rating : 3.6 / 5

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 Once upon a time long ago in a far away land (1999 in North Carolina to be exact), a much slimmer and fit fisherman decided it would be a good idea to take his new wife he tricked into marrying him only a few short months ago, on a fishing trip. Once they arrived at the spot on the lake, the highly skilled fellow caught a few huge 1 pound bass that decided to feed on top around the boat. The good wife in the back of the boat awoke briefly from her redneck fishing trip induced slumber to find her husband asking her if she wanted to join in on the fun. With as much enthusiasm as a fat girl at a salad bar she proceeded to make one cast. At this point she was done. Too much like work. The new husband knew that if she caught just one fish, she would love it forever. He hooked a mighty 2 pounder and handed her the rod. After a brutal 6 second fight, she swung the beast aboard, narrowly missing her man's dome. Shortly after releasing the fish, the good wife went back to her seat to finish her book she received as a wedding present, entitled "10 smells you're going to have to get used to"

At this point, the mighty fisherman scanned the horizon for signs of feeding fish. This would have been easier if there wasn't a great big boat with a green stripe and blue lights flashing right in his line of vision. After all parts below the fisherman's buffet carved mid section returned to normal size, he greeted the lawman. Everything was going great until he asked the bookworm in the back for a fishing license. The man in charge told the officer, she was not fishing. The officer said he was watching from afar like a love lorn lass and from what he could see, she caught something slightly larger than a minnow, and I should be ashamed I couldn't put her on a larger fish. Without further ado, the man and his bride were awarded a ticket in the amount of $140.00. Nothing bonds two people more than a pink piece of paper with an amount on it that is roughly twice what's in your newly opened joint checking account. The man diligently mailed a check in and the couple, still in love at this point, took off on a family vacation. Once back home, there was a knock on the door one morning. This was strange because the man had no friends and the wife wasn't expecting anyone. It was a friendly police officer. He said is there anyone here by my wife's name. After all parts below the fisherman's buffet carved mid section returned to normal size, once again, he said she is in the shower. The nice (but very short in stature, almost in a freakish way) officer said apparently a court date was missed regarding a fishing ticket and no check was received. After they handcuffed this poor man's wife, she looked back, not with tears in her eyes, more like fire and a kind of hatred stronger than chicken livers left in a car trunk for three days. After a trip downtown to pick up his newly fingerprinted wife, the now soon to be divorced man finds out he mailed the check to the wrong part of the court house. After a court date, all charges were dropped, but for some reason, the wife insisted on a "don't touch me ever again" rule, effective immediately.

It has been a few years now and we are still together. We still haven't touched but I think that too will pass with time. The moral of the story is, make sure you always follow the rules, spend a little more time in the shower, and the salad bars at buffet style restaurants were put there for a reason, not as a landmark to help you find the fried chicken, butter rolls and dessert bar. Following these simple tips will help you have a happier marriage. This has been a public service announcement from your friendly neighborhood fisherman. It is a sad fact but this is true story (for the most part).
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Comments (9 comments)
charlieholder1104 (posted Apr 21, 2014)
great story ... good fishing
RTF (posted Jun 23, 2009)
Better you then me, that's all I got to say.
nailbender1010 (posted Feb 8, 2009)
I got the same kind of luck LOL.
bassman44 (posted Jan 27, 2009)
dkillen (posted Aug 6, 2008)
great story
BassMasterRandy (posted Jun 7, 2008)
$140 would have paid for quite a few buffet's. Great Story writing
CJLINO (posted Mar 18, 2008)
That was a GREAT story!!!!!!
wetahook (posted Dec 29, 2007)
If at first you don't succeed ,try ,try, again. With a licenses. lol
FISHINMA (posted Sep 27, 2007)
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